Goal 2: Living the Dream
I recently had the pleasure (or misfortune, depending on your opinion on football/soccer) of viewing Goal 2: Living the Dream. It also happens to be the sequel to Goal so, yes - the addition of the number 2 and subtitle isn't completely superfluous.
Goal 2: Living the Dream.
Plot: A bunch of dudes run around a field and kick a ball for 90 minutes. And they get paid a ridiculous amount of money to do it.
Review: Sports movies as dramas are generally failures - anyone would be hard-pressed to name more than a handful that were actually good, except maybe for martial arts movies (just don't say that out loud or a bunch of sport-hating ninjas will jump through your window and cut your head off). Good sport movies as comedies are much more common, for example, Dodgeball, Talledega Nights and Saw.
In the case of Goal 2, it's obvious that the producers knew that they couldn't possibly match the results of the aforementioned classics, so they made their own movie in the vein of Uwe Boll, film-maker extraordinaire, in the hopes of being so bad that it wrapped around the good-bad scale and ended up being good.
In Goal 2, Santiago is transferred to Real Madrid and rekindles his scandalous love-affair with Gavin Harris, his team-mate from Newcastle FC. Here are some shots of their time in Spain sharing loving glances, bathing each other in exotic fragrances and training together with the song, "Here Without You" by Three Doors Down playing in the background - who could have envisioned a more touching scene?
Goal 2, however, serves up more plot-twists in an effort to out-do even Empire Strikes Back. Santiago meets his long-lost family, including a little shit-kicker who steals his stuff and is generally a whiny little brat that was born to be hated by the entire world.
Granted, Santiago is pretty stupid for letting some strange kid into his bad-ass Lambo just because of a picture of a woman who happened to look like his mother. Didn't the word "scam" ever cross his mind? Obviously not, at least until the point the little bastard ran off with his stuff.
The moral of the story - don't trust little impoverished kids when you're a super-rich mega-star. And hire better CGI animators who can actually do footballs.
So, how many ticket stubs would I give to watch this movie in a cinema again?
2 and a half - but they would be the shredded remains of Santiago's pre-marriage to that pasty pom.
Goal 2: Living the Dream.
Plot: A bunch of dudes run around a field and kick a ball for 90 minutes. And they get paid a ridiculous amount of money to do it.
Review: Sports movies as dramas are generally failures - anyone would be hard-pressed to name more than a handful that were actually good, except maybe for martial arts movies (just don't say that out loud or a bunch of sport-hating ninjas will jump through your window and cut your head off). Good sport movies as comedies are much more common, for example, Dodgeball, Talledega Nights and Saw.
In the case of Goal 2, it's obvious that the producers knew that they couldn't possibly match the results of the aforementioned classics, so they made their own movie in the vein of Uwe Boll, film-maker extraordinaire, in the hopes of being so bad that it wrapped around the good-bad scale and ended up being good.
In Goal 2, Santiago is transferred to Real Madrid and rekindles his scandalous love-affair with Gavin Harris, his team-mate from Newcastle FC. Here are some shots of their time in Spain sharing loving glances, bathing each other in exotic fragrances and training together with the song, "Here Without You" by Three Doors Down playing in the background - who could have envisioned a more touching scene?Goal 2, however, serves up more plot-twists in an effort to out-do even Empire Strikes Back. Santiago meets his long-lost family, including a little shit-kicker who steals his stuff and is generally a whiny little brat that was born to be hated by the entire world.
Granted, Santiago is pretty stupid for letting some strange kid into his bad-ass Lambo just because of a picture of a woman who happened to look like his mother. Didn't the word "scam" ever cross his mind? Obviously not, at least until the point the little bastard ran off with his stuff.The moral of the story - don't trust little impoverished kids when you're a super-rich mega-star. And hire better CGI animators who can actually do footballs.
So, how many ticket stubs would I give to watch this movie in a cinema again?
2 and a half - but they would be the shredded remains of Santiago's pre-marriage to that pasty pom.
Labels: goal 2 movie review
posted by blowing_chunks at 1:27 pm
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