Curse of the Golden Flower

So, it's been a while since I've done a movie review. With Movie Ticket Stubs being quiet for a while, I think it might be good to migrate over to a new medium - the amazing blog! So - on with the newest entry to the Amazing New Movie Ticket Stubs (without the stubs)!

The Curse of the Golden Flower (or how Chow Yun Fat is a dick)

Plot: Dudes in dresses prance around and sing songs in a comedy-classic!

Review: To say this movie was slow is an understatement - but once it got going, it was a roller-coaster ride of cool party-hats and crazy motherfuckers. That's right, party-hats. Check out the Princes of China; they're pretty cool. In fact, no one else in the movie wears party-hats because the Princes have a special dispensation for party-hats in China. And here's an added bonus picture of the afore-mentioned motherfucker. But moving on to what's important - my favourite part of the movie. Witnessing the power of the Chow!

As you can see, here's the youngest brat getting bitch-slapped by The Chow. That must be the proudest moment of any actor's career, although the character does also end up with the dubious honour of getting beaten to death by The Chow's golden belt but that's another matter for the Freudian students amongst us.
In fact, the whole movie is a bit of a Freudian paradise, with a sprinkling of Oedipus for taste, but I don't want to ruin it for those of you who haven't seen it. Just try not to think too much about where all the soldiers came from or where the fuck one would keep a bunch of giant, metal mobile walls in an Imperial Palace (probably in the Giant Metal Mobile Wall room).

So, how many ticket stubs would I give to watch this movie in a cinema again?
3 - but they would be the shattered remains of the cup from the incomprehensible ending to this shambles of a movie.